absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
