so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
