I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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