I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
