I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you win again, gameday.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
