do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
