mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
