P.S. I can't hear my feet
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
