I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
