I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i've created a new STD.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Randomize
