Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize