Hey man sorry I got all grabby
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
