Ambien. No doubt about it.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So vagazzling was a success
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
