why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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