woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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