i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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