Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Pooping to opera.
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