Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
