16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
