he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
