You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
