Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
