Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize