She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
