a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
