Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
