when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He did a backflip because drugs
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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