I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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