The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
