For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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