Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize