I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
