Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
