Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
