just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
