Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
