I want to make a zoo with you.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
