Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize