Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize
