Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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