I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
