i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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