you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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