I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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