Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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