I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
so let's talk penis.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
