dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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