At least make sure they are 18
Why
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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