Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
