just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
