New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
