i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
