It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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