just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
