I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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