It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My vagina is very pro this idea
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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