Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
