My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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