That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
