Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize