You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
