Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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