If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize